Saturday, November 29, 2008 // 6:27 PM
i told myself i won't miss you

entry 001


WEDNESDAY

went to Coko Cafe at about 9am..Naki came about 30mins. after i arrived..we're waiting for Jenn c0z she asked me to accompany her to take her delayed exam on Sociology..
at haun na nga.,after ihatid k0 si Jenn sa CC bumalik naman ak0 agad para makasama siya[yabaQ] but then an unexpected tampuhan came..nagtamp0 ak0 kasi nagsinungaling nanaman siya sakin..sabi niya ginawa niya lang daw yun para pagtakpan kung anu man yung gusto k0ng malaman kasi baka pagawayan lang ulit namin..ayaw na daw niya kasing ipasok ang 'ex' niya sa usapan kasi alam na rin naman daw niya ang kababagsakan nito..isang malaking tampuhan..TAMA SIYA. ayun nga nagwalk out na lang ak0 nung nafeel k0 ng ‘neglected’ ak0..uuwi na sana talaga ak0 sa bHAuz kaso nakita k0 si Achie sa church so pumasok ako dun..nakita k0 sila ni Jenn..Jenn was like hinahabol siya kasi sa nakita k0 ay parang naglalakad siya tungong nowhere..gustong-gusto k0 na talaga nun lumabas ng church at tawagin siya pero pinairal k0 nanaman ang aking humongous PRIDE..xit na pride..then nung di ko na natiis eh lumabas na ak0 tapos nawindang naman ang lola mo kasi si Jenn na lang yung nakita k0ng naglalakad and i was like shouting to myself na "where the hell is Naxcz.?" i ran to Jenn & was very hysterical looking for the person i just hurt..sabi ni Jenn.,"Ewan k0.,ewan k0 sainyo.,"eh asan na nga siya.? "Ewan.,somewhere there [points to the direction where Naki went ] magpapakamatay na daw siya.." and its not new to my ears na magpapakamatay siya kasi for the nth time ko na yatang narinig yun sa kanya but then at that moment i was like dying inside,too because i know my fault and i dont want to be the reason why she's hurting..i ran back to the church and cried my lungs out..haha.! after ilang months.,err..can barely remember..ngayon na lang ulit ak0 umiyak ng ganun katagal mga around 12pm yun kasi inabutan na nga ak0 ng Angelus kakaiyak dun, not knowing what to do..parang waiting for nothing na alam m0 deep inside eh darating kasi you prayed for it..weird..at ayun nga, Jenn did everything para ic0ntact siya at ipaalam na mukha na akong tanga na naghihintay sa taong di naman alam na hinihintay k0 siya..at dapat nga sa mga oras na yun eh pauwi na ak0 ng Ligao kasi heller 3days na kaya ak0ng unpr0ductive [i really hate being unproductive, sana naging lola na lang ak0 na nasa rocking chair diba] & the only reason why i was there was her..5 days kaming di magkikita tapos ganun pa..But Jenn was an angel[bleah.!]., she did everything and succeeded..taddahh.! bigla na lang sumulpot si Naki sa church..Jenn actually texted her..Sabi niya "Sorry, i was waiting at the wrong place." and without asking nafigure out k0 ng naghintay siya sa may bHauz namin..then sa paguusap namin ay nalaman k0 na lang na tama pala yung inisip k0..inabangan niya nga ak0ng lumabas sa bHauz k0 not knowing na andun pa rin ak0 sa school at nageEmow..then after a few exchange of Sorry's and whatevers we just found ourselves inside my room at the bHauz 'making up'..sa Pluto..haha.! then after everything that happened we ended up bidding goodbye and sayin' i love you's at the van terminal..
at for the first time eh may kasama ak0 sa byahe..for the first time eh hindi ak0 nakatulog sa biyahe kasi kasabay k0 si Kate at Ekai na papunta sa Legaspi for an Immersion..sayang di ako makakasama kasi nauna na akong nagCommit kay Mama at Papa na ako ang O-I-C sa bahay sa pagalis nila ng 23-26..hai naku..


THURSDAY

nothing much happened..ito lang naman ang araw na magbubukas sa apat na araw na kalbaryo ko..rawr..buti na lang dumating si Ate Shara para alalayan ak0 kay Mish..paalis na kasi sila Mama..may Catechist's Re-Echo Convivence kasi sila sa Bacacay..
So help me God sa aking mga kapatid..i dunno if i would function well coz my heart is with someone in Naga and my brain is with me yet still it shouts nothing but the name of that someone i'm dying to see so0n..


FRIDAY

i thought this would be an empty day like yesterday but maraming nakakawindang na pangyayari ang nangyari..

1. Pumunta sa bahay si Eric,ang manliligaw-ulit na 'ex' ng aking sistah na si Love.. Tumambay siya sa bahay kahit na nasa Legaspi si Love., nagjamming sila ni Mish habang ak0'y busy sa pagprepare ng lunch and everything..is that what you call "bonding m0ment with the 'future-in-laws'.?"' euwWw...

2. Jemelyn came..my beshie bestfriend..wala lang.,pumunta lang siya dun para magpasermon sakin dahil pumunta lang siya dun para iConfess na marunong na siya magYosi and she's doing it occasionally..rawr..

3.Joy[joyay].Jerusalem[jeru].Cecille[cel].Jed[jedoy].Janet[net].Maryrose[mayaman].Bon[bone].Mark[mak.chairman].- my elementary classmates.! sinundo nila ak0 para sa isang BIGLAANG HIKING..haha.! ni hindi pa nga ako naliligo..& siguro kakamadali ay nakaligo ak0 within 5mins.! mirakol pare.1 mirakol.! 1st time in history.! achievement.! ang average na pagligo k0 kasi eh mga 20 - 40 mins..sabi k0 na nga ba eh., i definitely agree na mas masaya at mas maganda ang mga bagay na hindi pinagpaplanuhan.."kapag hindi plinano, NANGYAYARI.."
the sunset is at its best when shared with good old friends..


SATURDAY

Appie 18th Burpdei Jem.!

am
General Cleaning Day.! my gulay..i'm desperate to lose weight.,im not the type who eats the balanced diet and eats stuff with less carbs., for me its better to do exercise or tire yourself over something to lose weight than to do the diet thingy..so..i spent the whole day cleaning the living and dining room of our house..simultaneous with attending to the store and to my youngest sister Mish..wahaha.! panu k0 kaya nagawa yun.? haha.! feeling k0 pumayat ak0..sabi naman ng bestfriend k0, feeling k0 lang daw yun..rawr..hihi..
i thought the cleaning stuff would make me feel better about missing my 'yabaQ' so much..
but all of those were futile efforts for forgetting,i still miss Naxcz damn much..

pm
"Ate Nagie.! Ayaw talaga niya.!", sigaw ni Nikka [pinsan k0] sabay labas ng kubeta,pinagpapawisan na..wahahaha.! ayaw lumubog ng jerbs niya..haha.!
at anung ginagawa ni Danica sa bahay namin.?
haun..di siya pinagbuksan ng gate ng Tita niya na nagpapaaral sa kanila ng Ate niya [Ate Meg] na nakasira ng digicam na pinagmulan ng lahat ng kaguluhan s earth..
o0.,nasira ni Ate Meg yung gigicam ni Tita Mhay nung pinipiktyooran niya si Jan Love for an id pic..tapos ayan naglitanya na ang lola at humantong na sa pagpapatigil kay Ate Meg sa pagaaral..duhh..as in,.spell 'duhh'..dahil sa 2 yrs. old na gigicam na nasira,masisira na rin ang pangarap niyang maging artista.?[ay sorry..char lng..haha.!]

hai natu..
physically exhausting ang araw na'to dahil sa kinarir k0 maglinis ng bahay..at maging TGA-lahat para sa mga kapatid k0..

mentally exhausting kakaisip ng solusyon sa problema ng pinsan k0..

spiritually exhausting dahil hindi ako nakapagsimba dahil masakit na ang katawan k0..

emotionally exhausting dahil sa hindi na ak0 makahinga kakaisip sa tanging taong mahal k0..gusto ko na siyang makita..habang tumatagal at dumadami ang bawat minutong binibilang k0 na wala ak0 sa tabi niya..nakakabaliw na'to..tangina..

this is my first post so pagpasensyahan ng nagbabasa..haha..

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With Conviction
i am not a blogger..
yet , everything is worth a try.
so, here i am..trying..[hard]
because..
i also have something in mind..
i also have something to share..
i also have something to say..
i also have something to stand and fight for..
and now.. you also have something to read.
am i right or am i right.?
please sit down.
shocks are better absorbed when knees are bent.

Take It or Leave It?

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YOU CAN NEVER DEFINE ME.
jack of all trades master of none...
i can be boisterously loud and be impossibly quiet..
i'm a paradox of my own world and existence..
mixed contradictions and complexities of what's seen and not..
it's like NOT KNOWING YOURSELF.,
a pencil parked on a paper not knowing what to write..

TAKE me as i am or LEAVE me alone.?
it may sound too antagonistic, but for me it makes sense because no one will really stay with you if he/she can't accept the real you..

if you can't stand it, better go than tire yourself with something that is simply hopeless or something beyond human control and understanding or you'll just lose yourself in the process..

one thing i keep in mind: YOU gotta be your TRUE self to be HAPPY.

No One Will Cry Over Me
naxcz
piwi
piwiphines
joy
nadine
ekai
titaninang
ate emz
nikko
sir toots
miss el
teah
benhur
mark
bianca gonzales
kc concepcion
lauren young

But At Least I Know All The Things I Want
hello kitty.peanut butter.
hany.secondhandserenade.
theater.anime.w.i.t.c.h.mag. kompooper. gigicam.
photography.books.
nature treks.sketchpads.
hugs&kisses.music.
love.Bossing.

Past
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
September 2009

Credits

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You want a piece of us? Email mingniawprods@yahoo.com.