"And I miss you more every time I think about you" @ 12:51 PM

I feel so down..

Just like literally being chest flat on the floor left with nothing to do with myself..

Or in a exaggerated way..it feels like I’m buried alive..the soil is unexplainably translucent and I’m just staring with nothingness on the flies fluttering above me waiting for me to rot which is impossible because in a few days I’ll be out of this grave just like a resurrecting constipated cat..

I’m bored..stupid me..

Coz I made a quote that goes, “Life is so boring for those who bore themselves.”

In so many ways, im definitely NOT boring MYSELF..

I have tons to do..

Every morning..The routinely sweeping the floor and picking up stuff that made anything in our house messy takes about an hour in my everyday..

With seven of us taking a bath daily, the laundry is always in a mountainous pile..

After they dried under the sun or in the balmy wind, I would be the one to fold them..

Mish is always like an electrified cockroach flying, running, tossing, dancing inside our room which keeps me shouting at her untiringly..

Holy week means it’s a busy week at church..

Preparations for the Paschal Triduum is a tedious task..you wouldn’t understand even if I’ll give my best to explain anyway..so never mind..let’s just say it’s physically, emotionally, socially and mentally stressing, add up the extravagant expenses..whew.! but it’s all WORTH IT in the end..been doing these for five years, proven and tested..

BUT..DESPITE THESE SO MUCH TO DO..

Idle moments seems to be terribly long..

I don’t understand why..i still have free time..

And I spend them..

Reading e-books of the Twilight series..

Reading magazines..

Trying hard to learn Photoshop..

Even harder when it comes to DOTA..

Edit the names in my phonebook..

Sketch cats..

Write in my planner..

Stare at the blank wall and sing to whatever Syg is playing..

Eat anything that suits me in the fridge..

Etcetera..

Nothing productive so far..

I don’t want any second unoccupied because it just drifts my thought abruptly to the one I’m missing so much who I hope misses me insanely as much...

It kinda makes me wanna cry everytime I’ll remember that she’s miles away..i hate it..

It makes me anxious ..much more paranoid..

The distance we have right now makes me realize how the once independent me became very dependent to her..

In everything I do I long for her..i couldn’t even put it into words..you couldn’t even imagine it if ever I did..

Batman without Robin..

Superman without Kryptonite..

Spiderman without MJ..

Tom without Jerry..

Spongebob without Patrick..

Hello Kitty without Dear Daniel..

Minnie without Mickey…

Will without the Heart of Kandrakar…

Shrek without Fiona..

Pooh without Piglet..

Tweety without Sylvester..

Bugs Bunny without a carrot..

Pancit without sahog..

Spaghetti without hotdog and meatballs..

Salad without mayo..

Halo-halo without ice..
Baked Ziti without cheese..

Chocolate Chip cookie without chocolate chips..

Pesto pasta without spinach..

Pastel without the yema filling..

Playing DOTA without buying items..

All those matches combined..

It’s just like the feeling of ME without HER..much worse even..

Weakness hovers over me as I dwell on my loneliness..

I’ve managed to cut anything romantic we had, but to cut what’s left with us now, to be away from her for a very long time, to miss her like a vampire that thirsts human blood for over 7 decades.. that’s too much..

As what Edward said in Twilight, “I don't seem to be strong enough to stay away from you..”