Nakagreen ako ngayong araw na’to..

As in lahat green..shirt..rubbershoes..earrings..etc..

Wala lang nashare ko lang..kasi naman andami ring nakagreen eh..asar..

Sa Philosophy, apat kaming nakagreen, sa Envi Sci tatlo, sa English apat din..

Tapos paguwi ko ng Ligao nung hapon, si Kuya Onin nakagreen din..and tatlo pa sa mga
kaCommunity ko ang nakagreen..

What’s with green anyway?

All I know eh ang green eh hindi kaaya-aya sa paningin ko at paborito siyang kulay ng bestfriend kong si Nicole, Mi Cara [si Kate] at ng seat mate ko sa Philo at English na si Kevin..

Well siguro eh dumadami na lang talaga at nagiging normal na ang pagiging green-minded sa mga panahong ‘to..haha.! konek..

Ash Wednesday ngayon at for 18 years of my life eh ngayon lang ako kumain ng karne sa araw na’to..

Nagikot-ikot kasi ang NANAKAJENN sa mga booths sa Xavier Hall kasi Business Week..then yun..bumili kami ng kung anu-ano na nakita namin sa mga booth..actually si Naxcz lang naman pala yung gumagastos kasi siya lang naman may pera sa araw na’to..haha.!

At yun nga sa last booth na natapatan namin eh bumili siya ng ham and cheese filled pandesal..

Yari ako..gutom na rin kasi ako nun kaya nakalimutan or kinalimutan kong Ash Wednesday nga pala..

Bakit nga ba bawal kumain ng karne sa araw na’to.?

Ang alam ko lang eh it’s one of the ways that you’ll deprive yourself of something you usually have or something you want to have for penance or for fasting..


Pagdating ko ng Ligao dumeretso ako sa church kasi akala ko may Ash Wednesday Rites..wala naman pala..badtrip..nagsayang pa’ko ng pamasahe at di ko pa nakasabay nag-dinner ang asawa ko..niawr..

Pero siguro pinagpag-fasting din ako for this day sa mga tanging bagay na nakakapagpasaya sa’kin..

Pagpasok ko sa church para magpalagay ng abo sa noo, wala nang tao..

Buti na lang at nahagilap ko pa si Kuya We [caretaker or Mayordomo sa church] at nagmano lang ako at sinabing wala pa akong chorvaloo sa noo..hayun.nagbihis siya bigla ng pang-Lay Minister tapos nilagyan na’ko ng chuvalin..

May kasunod akong mag-ama, yung batang babae eh mukhang 3 - 4 years old or something na humabol din last minute sa pagpapalagay ng abo..

Pagakatapos nila lagyan ng chuvalin sa noo..

Bicol-Ligao:

Girl: Pa..uno kadto.? Uno kadto.?
[Pa, ano yun.? Ano yun.?]
Papa: sus.! Amu kadto pinagabutang sa mga akus na matutugas kan payo..
[sus.? Yun ang nilalagay sa mga batang matitigas ang ulo]

Muntik-muntik na akong humagalpak sa kakatawa kasi parang kung may capacity lang yung bata sumagot eh baka sinabi niya na “Pa, does that mean na isa ka ring batang matigas ang ulo kasi meron ka rin niyang chuvalin na yan sa noo mo.?” Saying hindi pa marunong bumanat yung bata..haha.!

Basta ako ang alam ko lang eh nilalagay yun sa noo natin to remind us na we came from ashes and we’ll return to ashes when our body dies..it is also a reminder na punain muna natin ang sarili nating dumi sa mukha bago natin punain ang dumi sa mukha ng iba..

Labels: il cammino, RANTics RANTology

this is our 5th happy happy.! Well.,,sa bilang niya..haha.!

ayoko nga nagbibilang eh..kasi wala naman talaga makapagsabi kung kelan nagumpisa
lahat..diba.?

nung morning binigyan niya ako ng chocolate..tapos she thought na wala man lang akong kahit ano for her..

di ko nun dala si Syg kaya di ko alam kung kanino hihiram ng laptop..hai..

but everything ended up just right dahil after we had dinner eh niyaya ko siyang magpunta ng compshop..akala niya I’ll just check out something sa mga accounts ko but she was surprised [I guess] nung pinanuod ko na siya nung slideshow ng pictures namin and everything na ginawa ko using MovieMaker..

in fairness.,first time ko nakatapos ng project using MovieMaker..haha.!

yun yung gift ko for her sa araw na yun..sana mailagay ko yun dito sa blog ko in the future para makita niyo..hihi..

‘eto yung song na nagpplay sa end part nung ‘thingy’[di ko alam kung ano itatawag dun eh..haha.!] na ginawa ko..

.All i need is YOU. – The Click Five

You’re scared
It shows
Been there
You’re not prepared
To be
in love
With me
So soon cause you’ve been through enough to have
Something hold you back
.
We don’t need to go that far
Let’s hold on to where we are
If it’s real we’ll make it through
Coz all I need is you
.
They say
Don’t waste
Your time
They’re obviously blind
.
So let’s
Forget
The words the thoughts they put into your head
Don’t give up just yet
.
We don’t need to go that far
Let’s hold on to where we are
If it’s real we’ll make it through
Coz all I need is you
.
We don’t need the world right now
We got time to work it out
Hold on tight, I’ll hold on too
Coz all I need is –
.
Baby, maybe we should start somewhere
Baby, let me in your heart
Before we fall apart
.
We don’t need to go too far
Let’s hold on to who we are
If it’s real we’ll make it through
Coz all I need is you
.
We don’t need the world right now
We got time to work it out
Hold on tight, I’ll hold on too
Coz all I need is you
All I need is you
All I need is you

I just love songs na tipong siya na yung nagsasalita in my behalf..

Labels: nakita k0

omg..this was the first time I had a date on this special day..
although it was an indoor date, it was worth it to be called ‘first’..

days before 14 we already talked about it, but there were no concrete plans on where to go and what to do..

all we know is we’re both preparing for this day..

I was busy looking for our ‘wedding ring’ and I know she’s up to something coz i saw her buy a jar of strawberry jam..hihi..

We counted the hours that we’d spend together..
we got 12pm to 4pm..4 hours..
coz I need to go home to Ligao coz it’s Papa’s birthday..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I never saw her in the morning, just greeted her via sms..

We saw each other at their WorldLit class coz I sat in to watch Kate perform as Sarah in their play “Major Barbara”..

They were dismissed early so I thought I still had a chance to prepare the things I’ve missed in the morning..i left her with Kate and Jenn ..

I prepared myself and looked as pretty as I could ..i was nearly ready..

But then,i thought she’d just wait for me at the office but she just texted me that she’ll be eating lunch with the family because her mom demands so..

Then..me..as the usual pessimist..thought that everything was already ruined..i was consciously counting the minutes we should’ve spent with each other…I thought she’s neglecting me again..

She told me she’d be back by 1pm..i was furious coz the 4hour date was reduced to 3hrs..damn..

I just cried and stared impatiently at the blue rose I got near my laptop which I automatically thought that it was for me, she left it there to surprise me when I’m about to get Syg..assuming enough..

About 12:30 she texted me that she’s already waiting in front of our boarding house..

Then as I went out, I saw her with Lola Lola..omg.! with lotsa tupperwares with them..

I was really shocked.!

I ushered them inside, then Lola Lola reminded her of so many things, then left..

We were left alone at the boarding house because everybody there was out for a date or something..

I was speechless..all I could do was smile..smile..smile at her while she was preparing the table for us to eat the Korean BBQ Chicken, French fries, soup and the “Nakita Strawberry Mousse Cake a’la mode” [ngayon ko lang narealize na dapat ganun ang pangalan nun..haha.!] SHE PREPARED FOR US..

Yea..just like my birthday..she cooked for me again..awww..the sweetest things in life..

She even brought a cd that plays love songs full-time and played through Syg..haha.! to be more romantic she said..mushy squishy sweet..

Then..

We ate, we talked, we ate, we talked, we danced and repeatedly told each other ‘I love you’..

Well..so why the title of this blog?

Coz that song simply explains everything happened and everything I felt during these very precious moments..this is one of the songs that played during our date..

“These are the moments I thank God that I’m alive..These are the moments I have waited all my life..i found all I’ve waited for and I could not ask for more..”

Labels: nakita k0

I tried to sleep early to avoid crying too much..

But I ended up bringing out Syg [my laptop]..

played her video [several times] doing Iris of Googoo dolls on the keyboard..

barely listening to the song., plainly looked at how her hand moved across the keys..

got her almost-empty bottle of perfume and sprayed it on Stripe [the teddy bear she gave me last
Christmas]..hugged Stripe as tightly as I could..inhaling the perfume..

looked intently at the ring I’m wearing, wondered how long it would stay around my fingers..

tried to avoid looking at our picture pasted on the wall..

stared at the left over mashed potato we had for dinner, tried to eat but everything seemed to be tasteless..

everything seemed to be senseless..

i feel so numb..

I feel so dumb..

This is the first time someone told me those things..

Things you knew from the start yet you’d only start to believe when someone tells you..

Things that are very true, things that hurts more when the one you love the most tells you straight to your face those things you could never admit..

Things that would cause you great difficulty in looking back at her again because of too much shame on yourself..

Suddenly, my plan of sleeping early was totally ruined..

It’s already 1:55am..

Still I’m hugging stripe, smelling the perfume and looking at our picture on the wall while playing the video..

Somehow the wonderment why my tear glands aren’t drying up yet irritates me..

I’m already tired yet why can’t I stop making mute sobs here just to keep my boardmates asleep..

Avoiding or immersing in my feelings.?

Either way I can’t breathe..i just don’t know what to do now..

All I know is I’m scared..scared that sooner or later she’ll give up because she’s already fed up..

Labels: nakita k0

This day started as a disaster..


BIO REPORT


I slept at around 4am because of the unfinished powerpoint presentation for our report in Biology about the Circulatory System..

The hell..I was really furious when the reporter just ruined everything..i mean I’ve put all my efforts into that presentation..ppt..handouts..script..the whole report mostly was from my efforts..at minsan lang ako mag-effort..kaya ako nanghihinayang dahil yung minsan na yun ay nasayang pa..bwiset..para kasing patay na nagsasalita tungkol sa paglalaslas yung reporter..

Napuyat..napagod..nagalit..unsatisfied..

Yan ang rason kung bakit sunod-sunod ang kabadtripan ko..

...................................................................................................................

kRiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnggGG.!!!


Inasikaso ko pa yung toooooooot kaya pagod na pagod ako..[malalaman niyo na lang yan sa mga susunod ko pang blogs]
hihi..

Ilang araw na akong pabalik-balik sa centro kakahanap nun..whew.!

Ganun pala kahirap magbigay ng isang bagay para sa taong mahal mo..

Yung tipong dapat perfect sa paningin niya kaya dapat piliin mong mabuti, hindi yung basta-basta lang..maghahanap ka talaga..

Ganun pala feeling nun..

...................................................................................................................

AWAY MODE


Nag-away pa kami dahil sa mga selosan at deadmahan..naku naku.! I admit na selosa talaga ako..ilang tao na ang nakadiskusyon ko dahil sa pagiging overpossesive ko..well..possessive din naman siya ah..

Sorry pala ulit kay Conch kung nadamay siya sa kabadtripan ko sa buhay..

Pataasan kasi ng pride ang laban namin ni Nakita..

ultimong kung sino ang unang bababa sa kinauupuan namin at bababa ng Xavier papunta sa klase dahil time na, eh big deal dahil ang ibig sabihin nun eh pagbaba na rin ng pride..whew.!

yan tuloy parehas kami late..rawr.!

omg.! Hindi ko alam kung pano ko siya natatagalan at hindi ko rin alam kung pano niya ako napagtitiisan..

...................................................................................................................

FILIPINO DRAMA TIRA


Pagdating ko naman sa Filipino eh hinihintay na pala ako ng mga groupmates ko dahil nasa akin yung papel na ipapass namin..

Spell TANGA…N-A-G-I-E..ampf..

Si Kuya Grey naman eh full support sakin nung kumontra yung bading naming kaklase sa nireport ko about TIRA..nafeel niya siguro na kailangan ko ng moral boost sa mga panahong yun..haha.!

Well..mas mabuti talaga na creepy clones na lang kami..i think it will work better for both of us..

Sa note nga na pinasa niya through our classmate eh sabi niya eh makakabangon din daw siya..i really hope so..kasi alam ko naman na cleared na ako na sa kung anu man ang gusto niyang mangyari eh ayaw ko..

Hindi kami talo..masyado siyang perpekto, never ko siyang minahal pwera na lang being creepy clones..ayoko nun..

...................................................................................................................

NSTP GAMES


Galit-galit pa rin kami nung NSTP na..

Alam ko pikon na pikon na siya sakin nun kasi nagdadabog na ang lola niyo..

Binigay na ni Mam Jud yung permit namin para sa immersion..hai..hindi ko tuloy naexpress yung excitement ko sa kanya kasi nga nag-aaway kami..hindi niyo lang alam how hard it was to keep it to myself..toinx.!

Tapos biglang inannounce ni Mam Jud na maglalaro daw kami..

The boat is sinking..

Paint me a picture..

At yung nagustuhan ko sa lahat eh yung Shoe Craze kasi dun kami nagkabati ni Nakita..

Wala lang kinuha niya yung sapatos ko at kinuha ko rin sapatos niya, fashion show ecklavoo at after that pagbalik ng shoes sa may-ari eh nagkabati na lang kami bigla dahil parehas na kami nakamove on kakatawa sa lahat ng nangyari sa mga oras nay un..buti na lang at sadyang nakakatawa ang CC11..hai..

Isinuot niya sakin yung shoes na parang siya si Prince Charming at ako naman si Cinderella..kornilig.! haha.!

...................................................................................................................

UNPLANNED DATE


At dahil nga nagkabati na kami eh nagkasundo nanaman kaming wag munang pumunta ng office and decided na pumunta ng centro at magliwaliw..

gusto lang namin lumayo sa mga tao sa office, lumabas ng Ateneo at masolo ang isa’t-isa..
at yun nga right then and there we made up our minds na sumakay ng tricycle at pumunta sa E-Mall..

Pumasok ng Penshoppe..naglakad-lakad..hinatak ko siya sa Marcella’s..pinagod ang sarili sa pagkkwentuhan habang naglalakad at nilibre niya ako ng McFlurry..dun lang kami sa 2nd floor naupo..tumambay..nag-usap at nakiramdam sa isa’t-isa..nag-enjoy..

About quarter to five we decided na bumaba na at pumunta ng Book Sale as we usually do kapag pumapasok sa E-Mall..wala lang..kinasanayang maghanap ng libro kahit hindi naman bibili..hihi..

Tapos naglakad na kami pabalik ng Ateneo kasi mag-uusap ang NANAKAJENN..reconnection ba..haha.!

Hai..ang masasabi ko lang eh she really knows what to do kapag sinusumpong ako..parang bata lang na pinasyal at binili ng ice cream..haha.! abusadang bata..

Well..i enjoyed a lot kasi kahit nag-aaway kami halos araw-araw eh we still know how to make up after everything stupid we’ve done..

...................................................................................................................

NANAKAJENN


Late na kami nakapag-usap ng NANAKAJENN kasi kinausap pa ni Jenn si Achie at kausap rin ni Ate Marj si Kate..

Dun kami sa 2nd Batibot mula Xavier Hall..the usual “Emo Spot” kapag nag-uusap kaming apat..

Inupdate ang isa’t-isa sa kung anu-anung mga issue sa buhay..

Kung ano ang plano sa nalalapit ng balentayms..[skiri, 1st time ko magkakaroon ng date]

At sawakas eh nasabi ko na rin ang plano namin ni Naxcz na resignation..

Ang inakala kong madramang tagpo eh turned out to be a very jolly conversation between us four..

I knew Jenn and Kate would understand, I just dunno how to tell them and I also don’t want to hurt them kasi alam ko naman kung gano na nila kamahal ang Pillars..

Thank God, He gave me close friends that would always wish for my happiness and would support me in any decision
I’ve come up with..

...................................................................................................................

This day started as a disaster but it doesn’t mean that it will end disastrously too..

Para lang siyang cordon bleu o hamonado na nakabalot sa pambalot ng tuyo at tinapa..

MASAYA..ang saya-saya..^^,…

Labels: nakita k0, RANTics RANTology

Dear hello kitty,

Kabanuan ang gawing diary ang blog na’to..

Pero diba ang blog eh supposed to be an online diary.?

Well..

Wala lang akong masabi sa ngayon pero actually andami ko dapat sabihin..

Waah.! Ang gulo.!


Nainspire lang talaga yata ako dun sa homily ni Fr. Bob dun sa mass kanina..

Sabi niya when God created man,the human heart was really shaped like a valentine heart but He kept the other half with Him and gave us the other..

Maybe that is why sometimes we feel incomplete..

We tend to search for that other half..

We are left here on earth in an unending search for happiness..
true happiness..

We search for fulfillment at work..

We search for success at school..

We search for wealth in material possessions..

We search for happiness in our self-worth and achievements..

Kumbaga we are searching for the other half of our hearts para maging masaya tayo
sa mga MALING LUGAR..

Hindi natin hinahanap yung kalahati ng puso natin kung saan tayo tunay na magiging masaya..

Only in Him we can find what’s missing within us..

But we always deny that truth..


One more thing Iv’e thought of, we can never give our hearts and our whole self to the people we love if we ourselves are incomplete..



xOxO,
nagieta

Labels: il cammino

Putangina.!

Dapat hindi na lang bumusina yung driver ng van kanina ..
Para natuluyan na lang mamadali ang buhay ko.. [emow.!]

Asar..papunta kasi ako nun sa Ink Cyber para magpaprint ng lintek na program para sa UMALAB-CA launching kasi anutusan ako ni Kuya Fuy [as usual] ng patawid ako sa Ateneo Avenue sa harap ng Fontana, for the hundredth time eh hindi nanaman ako nag STOP LOOK and LISTEN before I crossed the street..

So hayun galit sakin si KuyaMamaManongDriver ng van ng bumusina siya at tinitigan ako na parang hinihiling na nasagasaan niya na lang sana ako para nabawasan ang mga tatanga-tanga sa kalsada na tulad ko..

Sana nasagasaan na lang ako kaysa naman patuloy ko pang nagawa ang mga bagay na taliwas naman sa mga pinaniniwalaan ko..


Kasi naman..Anong UMALAB-CA.?

Aba malay ko rin basta ang alam ko ay acronym yun ng
Ugnayan na mga MAmamayang LAban sa Balikatan – Cam Sur A
[ewan.! Ang haba kasi..basta yun na yun..mga aktibistang tinatawag..]

Hell.! Hindi ako aktibista at never kong pinangarap maging isa sa kanila..
Siguro dati eh naCurious din ako kung ano ang pakiramdam maging aktibista pero hinding-hindi sumagi sa isip ko kailanman na gusto kong magsisisigaw sa daan habang ipinaglalaban ang isang bagay na alam mo namang walang patutunguhan..

Bakit walang patutunguhan.?

Kasi ang mga aktibista ay mga taong naghahangad ng pagbabago sa sistema ng gobyerno, sa sistema ng pamamahala ng mga namumuno, sa sistema ng bansa..sa lahat ng kabulukan ng mga pulitiko..

Naghahangad ng pagbabago sa iba samantalang hindi man lang nag-abalang baguhin muna ang sarili nilang sistema bago nag-ambisyon ng pagbabago sa kung ano mang sistema ang inaayawan nila..

Wala akong galit sa mga aktibista..let them do their thing as long as they let me do mine..

Kaso kapag nasa Pillars ka eh wala kang choice..well.,kailan ba nawalan ng choice.?
lagi nilang sasabihin na may choice kami kaso ano naman ang magagawa mo kung mandated ang ganito at ordered na ganito and ganun..

Only solution I can think of.? Resignation Letter..

Marami pa akong pwedeng pasukan na orgs at alam ng lahat ng tao sa earth na hindi ko forte ang pagsusulat..marami akong pwedeng gawin at pagkaabalahan..masyado lang akong nakukulong sa publiication kaya hindi ko magawa ang mga bagay na dati ko ng ineenjoy nun..mga bagay na alam kong may patutunguhan ang pinagpapaguran ko..

Ang tanging pumipigil na lang sakin sa pag-alis ay ang katotohanan na sa pub kami naging close ni Naxcz,Kate at Jenn..

Dito nabuo ang NANAKAJENN..

Dito ko nakilala ang astig na sila Ekai at Piwi..

Dito ko naging asawa ang asawa ko..

Dito ko nakilala ang mga taong may pinanghahawakan sa pagiging makabayan..

Dito ko nakilala si Kuya Grey na creepy clone ko..

Dito ko naranasan maging ‘at home’ sa Ateneo..

Ito ang tanging lugar na nagsilbing tambayan ko sa mga unang buwan ko sa Ateneo..

Ito ang tanging lugar na naqgkakaroon ng oras makapagusap at makapagtrabaho ang NANAKAJENN..
at

Ito ang tanging org na alam kong magkakasama kami ng asawa ko..

Yun na lang..wala ng iba..

Kaya nakapagdesisyon na akong umalis na lang dahil alam kong ito ang makakabuti para sakin..alam kong masaya ako sa desisyon ko dahil naniniwala naman akong hindi nababase sa Pillars Publication ang pagkakaibigang namuo dito..sa Pillars nga siya nagsimula pero ang pag-alis dito ay hindi nangangahulugang ito ang katapusan ng pagkakaibigang ito..

Simula lang ‘to ng hamon samin na kung kaya pa ba namin maging NANAKAJENN kahit wala ng Pillars na tatali saming tatlo sa anumang gawain..
Oo.,madrama ako..kaibigan ko kasi sila..

Labels: blue thoughts, RANTics RANTology